Today, moments before walking into my first class, I found out that my lead teacher had been surplused and would be going to another school. Due to a reevaluation of student numbers, the budget had been reassessed and, with the diminished funds, the school could not support as many teachers as if had. My mind reeled 14 hours ago when I received the news, and it continues to reel. Too many questions and uncertainties bombarded my mind immediately after hearing. What was my Mentor Teacher thinking/feeling when she was told? How about now/today? What will she do? How will her new post be? How will the transition be to another school in the middle of a semester just before/after Thanksgiving break? What will our 75+ eighth graders do? Will the replacement teacher stick to the curriculum my teacher wrote for the middle school ELA team? If not, what will he or she teach? Will the classroom agenda and priorities remain the same? Will he/she give the time/flexibility that some students need whom my Mentor Teacher worked with with such humor, empathy, and respect. Will the replacement learn their names quick enough?
Those externally focused thoughts were joined by thoughts of a more personal nature. Will I be expected to take over the class? Am I up to that challenge? If so, can I be the teacher that our students need? If a new teacher comes into our classroom, how will I work with them? Will I be able to preserve some of my Mentor Teacher's curriculum or best practices? What if I go to another classroom with another teacher? How will I interact with them? Will they be as good of a role model? I have entered classrooms mid-way through the year; can I be effective with another teacher's students after months of not being in the classroom? If I leave, what will happen to all my plans for my students? What will happen to all the support my lead teacher and I had set up? What will happen to our students?
With all these thoughts buzzing through my head, I went into class. With a head full of these thoughts and a body swimming with emotions (confusion, frustration, anxiety), I helped lead a day's worth of writing and reading. And after 3 periods of students who all felt a certain way about their teacher leaving, including a student with a tough temper and tongue yet could often be tricked into working (usually with a smile on his face) when his teacher messed with him a little who cried upon hearing of her departure, the students left. Here I sit typing these jumbled thoughts up half a day after I learned so many people's year has been thrown off its original trajectory, with just as many questions.
